SonicFeld
by Dragonmaster-Sain
Summary: It's a fic about nothing! Updated Mondays.
1. Haunted Couch

Um...I don't own Sonic.

* * *

Chapter 1: Haunted Couch

* * *

Sonic walked around in his small, single bedroom apartment. Even though it was small, it was home. Knuckles, his slightly idiotic best friend, had decided to move in next door. He brought the Master Emerald with him of course, and continued to protect it. Amy visited often, along with Tails. Speaking of Tails….

"Sonic!" The door flew open to Sonics apartment. This was nothing new. Knocking was non-existent.

"What's up Tails?" Sonic said, standing up from his couch.

"I need to trade you couches."

"What?"

"I think my couch is haunted. I need to trade you couches. My dad is coming over and he WILL NOT sleep on a haunted couch."

"Tails…there is NO such thing as a haunted COUCH. A fridge maybe…"

Knuckles walked into Sonics apartment. "You know, that's not true." He said, rummaging through the fridge. That wasn't haunted mind you. "I've heard of weirder things being haunted."

"Yeah? Like what?"

"Like cheese that's what!" Knuckles said, drinking the milk from the carton.

"Haunted cheese! That's preposterous."

"It's true that's what it is!" Knuckles said, quickly jumping to Tails side. "You know, you never have any hot dogs…"

"Okay, let's go see this couch."

"What couch?" Amy asked, walking in and joining the fun.

"TAILS…says he has a haunted couch." Sonic said, pointing an accusing finger.

"No way is it haunted." Amy said, joining Sonics anti-ghost parade.

"Finally, someone with some sense." Sonic looked at Amy "Thank you Amy."

-----------Tails Apartment

Sonic and the gang looked at the couch. "You know, looking at it…" Sonic began. "I dunno, Tails is right, that thing has a freaky aura…"

"Yeah…" Amy agreed.

"Yeah! I told you!" Tails yelled in victory. "Okay, Sonic, I know this is weird, but I need to trade you couches."

"NOOOO"

"Come on!"

"AW...nahhh"

"Please! For my DAD, Sonic!"

"Uh…ah…okay. But you and Knuckles gotta move it."

"Yeah! Alright!"

"Yeah. Who got the short end of THAT deal?" Sonic stated monotone in his mind.

----------------------Later

Sonic sits on the freaky couch. The black cloth eerily wraps around his skin…he shifts uncomfortably. He shifts again, and again. "Oh, this is useless!"

Knuckles walked in. "Hey Sonic, how's the couch?"

"I just can't get comfortable."

"Here, let me try." Knuckles took a seat. He then stood back up. "That is no good!"

"Yeah!" Sonic agreed.

"…do you think we should try and exorcise it?" Knuckles said, taking cover behind Sonic.

--------------------At the diner

Sonic, Amy, and Knuckles sit at a diner.

"…and your butt just CLENCHES with fear." Sonic ended. Amy looked flabbergasted.

"And you can't get your original couch back?" Amy asked, stirring her coffee.

"I couldn't do that to Tails! Now that he has his dad over and stuff…" Sonic said. He took a large drink of his coffee.

"You should sell it to a museum." Knuckles stated, matter-of-factly.

"A museum wouldn't take a haunted couch! Especially since we don't know who it's haunted by!" Sonic said. "Hm…" he sighed, wishing there was a simple answer.

--------------Later

Sonic sits in his apartment, on a lawn chair by the couch. Knuckles busts in.

"Sonic! I did some sloothing!"

"You mean sleuthing."

"That's what I said! Sloothing! Sonic! Tails dad isn't staying with him!"

"What?"

"I mean it!" Knuckles said, exaggerating his anger by waiving his arms around. "And I think this was pre-vee-ously planned too!"

"You mean previously?" Sonic asked, now angry.

"That's what I said!"

----------------At the hotel

"That little rat!" Sonic said through gritted teeth. "This is a fancy hotel too! He must have had a reservation from the start! He just wanted me to take that freaky couch off his hands!"

"Hey…maybe we can get someone who works here to mess up his room!"

"That's brilliant!"

"Like, with some toilet paper!"

"That's even more brilliant!"

Sonic stood up from where he was hiding, which happened to be a couch in the middle of the main room. He walked over to a black hedgehog with red streaks wearing a uniform. Knuckles followed dopily.

"Hey…see that man over there?" Sonic asked, pointing at Tails dad. The worker nodded his head. "I need you to mess up his room, anyway you can." Sonic slipped him a hundred dollar bill. The hedgehog smiled.

"Consider it done, sir!"

-----------------Back at Sonics place

Sonic and Knuckles sit, watching Sonics T.V., sitting on lawn chair on either side of the couch. Amy walks in. "Hey Sonic I…" she noticed their sitting areas. "Oh it can't be THAT bad!"

Amy walked over and sat down on the couch. After adjusting herself for the fourth time, she took a seat on the floor in front of it.

"That's it!" Knuckles stood up and ran out."

"Wonder what's got him?" Amy asked, taking his chair.

"I dunno." Sonic said lazily. Then he grinned. "Hey Ames…"

"Yes?"

"…I'll bet you can't sleep on the couch for a whole night."

"…No way."

"Chicken?"

"No!"

"I double-dog dare ya!"

"You're on!" Amy yelled.

---------That night

Sonic walked out of his bedroom. "You doing okay Ames?"

"Yeah…" Amy was lying on the couch, hugging her Sonic plush and covered in her favorite blanket. "But…this is giving me the WAY creeps."

"Hey, if you back down, it's a double-dog back down." Sonic said. "Need a glass of warm milk or something?"

"Sure I--"

Knuckles burst through the door. "Sonic! I bought you a gift!"

"What is it? Knuckles, it's 11:00 at night!" Sonic said, pouring a glass of milk.

"Here!" Knuckles ran back out of the apartment and, using his super strength, brought in a whole sized couch and set it down behind the haunted one.

"Hey! Thanks Knux! A new couch!"

"Not just any new couch! This one is blessed by a priest!"

"Okay…wait. How is it blessed?" Amy said, sitting up. Sonic glared at her, and she laid back down. Sonic wasn't gonna let Amy back down on their dare.

"How IS it blessed?" Sonic asked.

"You know that haunted cheese I was talking about? Well, it got exercised on this VERY couch!" Knuckles said. "A priest ATE the haunted cheese on this couch! It will exercise the haunted couch!"

"You have GOT to be kid--"

"No, Sonic…I think it's working…" said Amy on the haunted couch.

-------------------Later

Sonic, Amy, and Knuckles are all sitting on the blessed couch behind the haunted one. Tails comes rushing in. "Hey guys, what's up?"

"We've been waiting for you!"

"What? Why?"

"Hey Knuckles, let's go to the hotel!" Sonic said, an evil grin plastered to his face.

----------------------At the hotel

Tails dad is at the main desk, complaining.

"…and there was toilet paper everywhere!"

"I'm sorry…who was the person who was supposed to be watching your room?" Tails dad pointed to the hedgehog from the other day. "Shadow! You're fired!" Shadow gasped.

"This is your fault!" Shadow said towards Sonic. "I'll get you for this!" Shadow pushed Sonic. Sonic pushed back. Shadow punched Sonic. Sonic laughed, he was starting to regain his 'fighting Eggman' energy back. Sonic tackled Shadow, and they wrestled around for a bit. Sonic jumped off him, and did a punch rush. Shadow was dazed for a bit, but retaliated by throwing Sonic into the couch. "This isn't over!" Shadow raced off.

Sonic looked down at the couch he landed on. Its legs were broken, and the backrest had fallen over. The manager of the hotel walked over to him. "You're going to replace that."

-------------------Later

Sonic and Amy looking through the rotating doors of the hotel. They had given up the haunted couch to the hotel. "Amy…don't look at it directly…"

Amy shuddered.

* * *

And that's the end! If you didn't think it was funny, tell me, and give me ways to improve. Also, if you want, you can suggest plot centers. 


	2. The ME

Well, after the first chapter, I got 4 reviews. One of them said, "This isn't going to work" and I agreed. Then three more people reviewed and said they wanted to see more. I wasn't going to continue, because I still agree with the first review. But I have 2 reasons to continue. 1.) It won't work exactly like Seinfeld, but a humorous 'about nothing' Sonic fic. 2.) Those three other people will be CRUSHED if I stop…cough

* * *

Chapter 2: The M.E.

* * *

Sonic sat on his couch, sipping a coke and watching the news. Suddenly, Knuckles bustedin. Sonic would be surprised, but…he wasn't.

"Hey Knuckles, what's up?" Sonic said. Knuckles looked a little flustered.

"Been havening some trouble with the ME." Knuckles said, shaking his head.

"With yourself?" Sonic asked, confused.

"No! The ME!"

"So now you have a 'The' in front of yourself? Seems a little big-headed, doncha think?"

"Augh!" Knuckles yelled, running out of the house. Sonic raised his eyebrows, shrugged, and then went back to the news.

"Local hotel boy, Shadow the Hedgehog, is being sued by the 'Prower' family--" Sonic changed the channel.

"Gnnn." Sonic grumbled with wide eyes. Amy walked in to Sonics apartment.

"Sonic, did you hear?"

"Shadow, who we hired to mess up Tailsis dad's room, is getting sued? Yeah, I saw--" Amy interrupted him.

"Yeah, so Tails can get enough money for college!"

"College?" Sonic asked, standing up. "Where?"

"I don't know." Amy said. "But what I do know is that Shadow isn't someone I want Tails making an enemy with!"

"Can't agree more!" Sonic agreed, and with that, Sonic and Amy ran to Tails house.

-----------Knuckles

Knuckles looked at the Master Emerald.

"You…" Knuckles eyes squinted. "Why are you doing this, ME?" Knuckles stays silent for a moment. "Who are you REALLY working for?" Knuckles glared more intensely. "…I see your game."

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

The Master Emerald blinked.

"AH HA!"

-------------------Tails House

Sonic and Amy busted into the room. Tails was sitting on Sonics old couch, eating Ramen noodles. He looked surprised for a moment, then swallowed the noodles he had left in his mouth.

"What are you two doing here?" Tails asked, standing up and putting the bowl on the table. Sonic walked over and grabbed tails by the shoulders.

"Tails…are you suing Shadow for money to go to college?" Sonic asked, a serious look covering his face. Tails squirmed.

"…yes."

"...The only guy we know who contantlycarries a gun...and you're suing him? What did you do with the college money I gave you?" Sonic asked.

"...I spent it."

"You what?"

"I SPENT IT!"

"What did you spend thirty thousand dollars on?"

---------Flashback

Tails sat on a lawn chair next to his haunted couch. Suddenly, there was a knock on the door. Tails opened the door to see the mailman.

"Mail time, mail time MAAaaaAAIL TIE--!" Before the dumb mailman could start to sing, Tails grabbed his letters and closed the door. After looking through his mail, Tails noticed something.

YOU COULD ALEADY BE A WINNER! JUST SEND 1,000 DOLLARS TO…

"Hawt dog!"

-------------Present

"It's a long story…"

"…"

"They reeled me in Sonic! Constantly bringing up my hopes and then dashing them to pieces!"

"Who did!"

"Pieces Sonic, pieces!" Tails started to wail into Sonics shoulder. Amy glared at Tails, then tackled him to the floor.

-------------Back with Knuckles

Knuckles glared at the Master Emerald.

"Yeah…yeah you would think that, wouldn't you?"

"…"

"Think I'm getting weak!"

"…"

"So what if Eggman hasn't attacked in awhile."

"…"

"Don't be talking about my mom."

"…"

"I've had just about enough of you!" Knuckles kicked the Master Emerald. The Emerald began to glow. Knuckles 'eeped' as the emerald exploded.

-----------Tails House

Tails had the news on. Sonic had gotten Amy to calm down and was talking to Tails about suing Shadow.

"Tails, I just don't think that this is a good idea."

"Sonic, I have to go to college to be a mechanic! You know that's been my life long dream!" Tails said.

"…you wouldn't have to do this if you hadn't been so gullible with that instant win crap…" Amy muttered under her breath.

"Reeling Amy! Have you ever been reeled?" Tails said, angry.

Sonic hissed with gritted teeth. "He's right Amy. A reeled man is never a pretty sight."

"I've been reeled before! I didn't take it half as bad." Amy said, standing up.

"You're a girl. You're different." Sonic and Tails said in unison.

"What's so different about a man and a women?" Amy asked, furious that they would think she is weaker than them. Sonic and Tails looked at each other, then to Amy, then at each other again. Before Sonic could speak, something on the news caught their eyes. A young women was standing in front of Sonics apartment, as smoke poured out of Knuckles window.

"An explosion went off today in the 'Station Squared' Apartments, room #47 today." The women walked to the left, giving the camera a better view of Knuckles room. "Resident Knuckles T. Echidna, the man who's room exploded, had this to say." A clip is shown of Knuckles being dragged away from the apartments by police officers.

"It was ME I tell you! And let me tell you, it wasn't an accident! If the world isn't careful, we'll all die!" Knuckles was thrown into a police car.

"What could have happened to this world renown hero? Maybe the stress got to him. More coverage as more is revealed." Sonic turned off the T.V.

"This is bad. Tails, when is your court date?"

"Tonight."

"Tonight?"

"That's what I said!"

"Guh, whatever. You can handle this Tails. Come on Amy, let's go help Knuckles." Sonic and Amy rushed out of the house.

--------------------Later

Sonic and Amy sat and talked with Knuckles through a glass wall. Sonic sat, rubbing his eyes.

"…Knuckles, why did you do it?" Sonic asked, finally finding his voice.

"I didn't do it!"

"Then who was it?"

"The ME!"

"Back to speaking yourself with 'the' in front of it."

"NO! NOT 'THE' ME! …maybe I should start talking like that. Makes me all manly! I am Knuckles, THE me!" Knuckles seemed to get distracted.

"What are you talking about Knuckles?" Amy asked him, thoroughly confused.

"The Master Emerald! That's who it was!" Knuckles said, throwing his hands in the air.

Sonic sighed. "I WOULD gasp and wonder how I didn't see it before…if it didn't sound so crazy. Your talking about an inanimate object."

"A LIVING inanimate object! Haven't you ever seen that 'Brave Toaster' movie!" Knuckles said.

"That was just a movie…"

"A documentary!"

-----------At the court

Tails looked over at Shadow. Shadow did nothing to hide his rage. Tails looked back towards the judge.

"…How much did you say you wanted?" The judge asked, still bewildered at the huge sum.

Tails leaned forward. "Thirty-thousand dollars…sir." Tails sighed. This sounded GREAT on paper. The judge shook his head.

"Why could you possible want THAT much over simple vandalism."

Tails cleared his throat and leaned forward again. "I…I need it to go to college…"

"College? Didn't you have some money saved up? You know, suing someone isn't a game!" The judge was an old man, an easy going one at that.

"…I…um…I did."

"What happened to it?

"Well…um…you know those "You're a instant winner" things?"

"I'll kill you!" Shadow had had enough. He dove over his desk and tackled Tails.

-------------Back with Knuckles

"Thanks for paying my bail guys." Knuckles said as they walked out of the courthouse jail.

"Hey, when you're a hero, you get money. At least I think that's how it works…"

"It had better work that way. You have no job Sonic." Amy stated.

"…oh yeah."

-----------Back in the courtroom

"Get him out of my courtroom! Throw him in a jail cell!" The judge yelled, sending two guards to come and grab Shadow by the arms and drag him towards the holding cells.

"I'll get you Tails! And that faker hedgehog!" Shadow said as he was 'escorted' out of the courtroom. Upon entering the holding cells area, he spotted Sonic, Amy, and Knuckles walking out. "YOU!" Shadow launched out of the guards hold and tackled Sonic to the ground.

-----------Later

Sonic sits behind glass, talking to Amy.

"I still can't believe they gave you a week in jail…" Amy said, shaking her head.

"Yeah, well, I guess it doesn't matter. At least Shadow got what was coming to him. Ultimate Life Form my ass. The Ultimate Life Form wouldn't have a brokenjaw right now, I can guarantee that."

----------------Comments and Ending

Ok, there was chapter 2. Suggestions? Ideas for an episode? Comments? Flames? Throw em' at me. I can take it.


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